I need to start doing something with my life. I'm still confused about what I want to do. Drew helped me the other day as I was breaking down to him about how unhappy and hard it is to find some sort of 'direction' in my life because he already has his sorted. He seems happy. He knew I didn't want to talk about it because I always avoid the topic about what I want to do or what I'm going to do. I never like talking about it because I don't like facing it, but eventually I'll have to. And I'll have to soon. The past year and a bit of not studying has been difficult. Despite having traveled and enjoying my 21st year, I've also tried looking for jobs, volunteering work, possibly post grad studies and other studying options. But the thing with studying is that I had such a bad experience with my time at uni that it factors into my decision of not going back. And I know I shouldn't let that one crappy experience ruin every other perception I have of studying. It was just one really broad degree with different people every year and it was hard to find the same group of people who would major in the same thing as me. I really don't know if I want to study but I know it's the best option. Everyone these days value your education and experience and honestly, as much as everyone tells me that you shouldn't listen to what other people say about how crap your degree is, Arts won't get me anywhere. I've known that since first year and now that I've graduated with it, it upsets me. That I didn't choose anything else more valuable and opted for a degree whose units interested me. People may say it's not a bad thing that you chose a degree which provided units that were interesting to you, because you want to be interested and invested in something you love right? And I was. I loved studying history and film studies, and I couldn't see myself studying anything else. But see, I used the word studying. I didn't say I couldn't see myself do history or film studies. I know I want to do something in film. I just haven't found what it was. I wiped out the idea of acting, although it saddens me so much because it was my dream. But that sort of dream is already diminished by the perception and patriarchy of race in Hollywood. So I'm left to find something that I love doing within film. So Drew helped me narrow down my interests and see what options are available. It came down to film, media and kids. Knocked out kids because I only like playing with them and not teaching them. Film and media are sort of in the same category because 1) Film involves the film, celebrities, techniques and 2) Media is the written and visual language of it. I notice I know a lot about celebrities and the latest goss about them. I also watch the news and god knows, my knowledge of history can play towards it. That's what I'm down to and what I need to look further into. Go and get busy em. Tuesday, March 7, 2017 11:27 AM