I came home with a different head space and it's still there. I'm just so sick of everything and it's making me become such a negative person.
I don't want to go to work at all. I'm not lazy or tired or anything, I just don't want to deal with customers.
I'm sick of my parents. I hate hearing them argue every time over stupid things.
I'm sick of my mum treating me like a baby. I don't like it when she buys or does things for me because she thinks I need it. I think I've sort of gotten used to just doing things for myself now.
Which brings me to being sick of other people's parents doing things for them.
I'm sick of the area that I live in. I don't like going to Cabramatta or Canley anymore. I don't like seeing familiar or the same faces.
I sick of everything that's in my room. I don't need all of this junk lying around. Why do I still have HSC stuff or primary school books. I just want to throw everything away in my room and start over again.
I feel so incredibly lonely.
I want a best friend.
Sometimes I feel like crying because no one's there or has time to listen to me.
I've become so incredibly insecure about my feelings and thoughts, that I hesitate to tell anyone about it. When people don't actively listen to me, I shy away from telling. I just don't bother with sharing my thoughts anymore.
I hate waiting for you.
I hate staying indoors during the day when the sky is blue.
I'm being 100% healthy because I'm so unsatisfied with myself.
I'm so unhappy.
I like it when people pay for their own shit.
Did I mention I feel lonely.
I want alcohol.
I want to start doing things for myself like finish reading a book, cook, remove everything from my room, get that dream job so I can move out and live closer to the city and start a new life. Be happy. Have a boyfriend. Have a best friend. Have dinner and drinks after work. Buy a puppy. Buy myself that car I've been wanting for so long. Essentially be an adult and not be stuck under this roof that's supervised by my parents.
I really want to separate myself from my parents. Obviously not entirely, I'm still their daughter but I want to be able to say that I live on my own and what I am doing right now was all my hard work.
I want to feel satisfied with my life and right now, I'm not.