I don't know how many times I've discussed my insecurity with Arts but I've come to accept it. It's my third year and I need to be proud of the degree that I chose to do. I wasn't initially proud because I could have used my ATAR differently but I chose to follow my passion. I also wasn't proud because of the amount of people that I was surprised to hear to say that Arts is a useless degree. I didn't hear of such thing until I entered uni. Everyone was pretty much shutting it down for being easy and jobless after graduating. That's how I caught my insecurity. I literally hate degree talks.

Anyway I've come to say that I'm surprisingly a bit sad that I'm leaving uni because of some of the people and faces I've seen throughout the past three years who share the same passion as me. Most of the people I've never spoken to before. Sometimes in class discussions and group work but never befriended them. I can see that they're lovely people. Arts people are nice people. But most of the time they already have friends from high school and they look like they don't plan to make other friends, unless they have to. Which is fine but for people like me who don't have high school friends, it's a little bit sad. And if you're asking me why I don't go and start talking to them, it's because I know it'll just be that brief moment and I won't see them next sem or next year.

There are so many times when I wished I was friends with this person or that because it looked like we'd click but it's difficult because people wouldrock up to class just to go to class and not really talk to anyone. That's what makes me hate Arts. No one really interacts. People just come to class to participate and learn but not really talk to one another. If we all talked to eachother and knew eachother's name, it'd make me look forward to class more often. But it's the same thing. People come to class, sit on their own table while on their phones waiting for the tutor to arrive. It's a bit sad. I wished I could come to class looking forward to see a friend and ask how their weekend was but instead, I come to class and sit on an empty chair like everybody else.

It's the last week of the semester and I finished my last lesson of my favourite tutorial class. Some of the people I know I won't see again because it's either their last year too or second year and I'm done so I can't see them again. I admit I will miss usyd, despite the bad memories I had during first year. It is one of my biggest challenges and I did go through a lot by myself. And I think I'm sad to let that go because it taught me a lot about myself. My hardships, insecurities, weaknesses came from there and moving on from that is going to be another challenge. Another new chapter of my life. Another new normality. What to do next?




Wednesday, June 3, 2015 9:12 PM