I've decided to attempt to blog every week. I think that's achievable. I may blog more than once in a week, who knows :o

I had an interesting conversation with my sister the other night about religion. I was curious because I didn't know what my beliefs were so I asked her. I asked what do you consider your religion to be? Do you consider yourself buddhist? And she said yes. Asked me back and I said no. And when I said no, like out loud, felt like it was telling MYSELF for the first time that I wasn't buddhist and it felt weird.

I grew up worshipping the ancestors through praying and making food like every quarterly month, celebrating Chinese New Year, respecting grandparents, aunties, uncles.. doing what I was raised and taught to do but I just didn't have the knowledge to understand it all and I wished I did. I mean I could read about it but it's not the same. I studied European History first sem of last year and I learnt about christianity. Am I christian? No. So I can't read about buddhism even though I was raised that way. I have to be submerged into the whole religion and tradition to be fully considered as a buddhist in my opinion..

And I want to believe in something. I want something to look up to rather than feel like I'm alone in this world because how can you live on with life without some sort of guidance. Don't you want someone telling you if this is right or wrong? Most of the time I only have myself to tell me of my morals and atm it's enough to pull me back from making any regrets but I feel like I need a companion, a spiritual deity by my side... that exists.. which is most probably impossible.

That brings me to God. It immensely confuses and baffles me as to why people believe in God or how people believe in God. I don't want to disrespect any religious people out there but seriously, is God real? We don't know and we may never know but what makes a person believe in someone or something that can not be proven. And then that makes me think of how hypnotic and psychotic this is, to place your belief in someone or something that ... doesn't exist. OMG like I don't want to say that he doesn't exist..  and I don't want to call him a he because he could have been a she but I just can't say he DOES exist because that's not true either... so I'm just really wordless right now......... ..  ... . . . BASICALLY WHY DO PPL BELIEVE IN GOD AND PLACE THEIR ENTIRE LIFE/ WILL/ TRUST/ BELIEF INTO THE HANDS OF SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT HAS NOT BEEN COMPLETELY PROVEN TO HAVE EXISTED?

It just scares me that people do this. Like they're seriously hypnotized to believe in a non-existent person/ thing. It's admirable that they have some sort of guidance in their life but it shouldn't determine their final decision. Like if someone who was Christian was struggling at work and prayed to God the night before and God apparently sent some sort of 'sign' telling him to quit his job like... ?!?!?!?!? why are you listening to him?!?! Why DO YOU have to listen to him?!?!Why should he tell you what to do!?!?? And I know Christians like to build a strong relationship with God but this is just beyond crazy... It's like God is taking over his body.

And I want to tell Christians/Anglicans/ Catholics/ Muslims/ any God worshipers (because I know very little about Gods people) that maybe this sort of sign that God has sent to make your decisions isn't because of God but because of you. We're capable of making our own decisions but we're too afraid to face them so we look up to someone to push us forward with it. But in the end it'll always be our decision if we want to quit our job, chase our dreams, buy this car or that, break up with them or not.

RELIGION STRESSES ME OUT

Now I'm being all superstitious. Knock on wood.



Sunday, April 27, 2014 9:10 AM