I think that's all I could get last night but it was so nice to get out of the house.

I miss my friends. And their company.

I feel rather lonely. I don't like that feeling. I get that feeling a lot when I'm at home because I feel as if I'm the only one here.

Everything's a struggle.

Getting sad again. Sad Emily emerging.

Lets bring positivity

+++++ +++ ++ +++

I don't know how many times I've said this to anyone but I can't get wait to get married. I watch wedding videos and as of last night, I was staring into the couples eyes and how they look at each other so closely knowing that they're going to spend the rest of their lives with them. I want that feeling. To be loved. And to love. I want to love.

I feel as if I lost any interest to fall in love because I don't know how to. I feel like I can only be loved but I can't love back. That's why marriage means a lot to me because love is everything. That feeling of knowing that you're not alone, lonely, abandoned, that's there's someone bound to you. Loving you. Always thinking about you. It takes away that feeling and I want to be taken away.

I want to love someone now and feel warmth and happiness. I want to find a way where my heart lies with someone and I know that he'll always be there. Be mine. 

But I can't find that feeling. I can't love now because love isn't there yet for me.

There's three things that I consider a life fulfilled.

1. Love
2. Career
3. Happiness

But it's a Sunday and I should be happy because I end Sundays with a visit to my grandmas, playing with the cousins. 

I wanna bring in a happy topic....

Um. 

I just miss my friends so much.

One direction mes me happy. Lol. They've all got tattoos except for Niall. Niall, stay that way! Harry has gone bizerk and as for Louis, he absolutely hated the idea of getting a tatto but now he's got a bajillion on his arm and leg. Did you know I'm seeing them twice this year? Yeah rather obsessed but I've died down a little. I was considering on selling one of the ticket because I could save 100$. 100 is a lot. 

Harry Harry. Harry. Harrry. Harrrrrrry styles.